I found out he cheated on me a lot and the last time he cheated was like Friday.  This is why he had such a hard time letting go of his "friendship" with his ex. It hurts like hell. What happened to love? I thought he was sincere and caring. I had so many mixed feelings and slight revelations, but I still trusted him. He was just so believable. I love him still. I always will. I mean love doesn't go away with something like that. I can never stop loving him because love is forever. 

I can hardly think through this logically. I haven't been to class in a week and I have all sorts of big projects that are due. I just can't focus or concentrate. I don't want to face the world. Besides every so often I break down and cry. I can't have that happen to me in public.

I feel sick to my stomach. How can someone with such beautiful eyes be such a great liar? I could swear it was just the Thursday before the last time he cheated that he got on his knees before me...He's so emotional...so deceptive...yet so beautiful...so lovable...so amazing... I feel as though he stole my heart, squashed it, then laughed in my face.

How can so many awful things happen to one person in life? What did I do to deserve it?

I must say again I still love him. As I always will...