I can't explain why, but when I think about how he cheated on me and the way he treated me when I found out I wanna commit suicide. I think about dying. Hanging myself. It hurts so bad and I feel so terrible and worthless. I'm not sure how and why my self worth got tangled up in him and how he treated me. Somehow he got a hold of all that was left of me and I thought he was the one. I gave him my heart and soul. Things aren't the same but I don't have the pieces of me I once possessed. It's gone and there's nothing left. He threw it away and I can't find it.
God, I just wanna come back to you and it seems I have nothing left to offer. I keep running back to him thinking maybe I'll find me again. How did he have everyone fooled? My grandmother, my mother, my father, my brothers. He was supposed to be the perfect man. The one I'd marry. My love, my forever, my all. Who I thought he was appears to be a lie. Yet I still can't let go.
I love him. There's so much misunderstanding between us and I find myself being bitter. I just want things to work out and for us to live together in peace. I want to marry this man, but does he wanna marry me?
Love is a strange thing yet so wonderful and truly beautiful. Josh is strange yet so wonderful and truly beautiful.